On Growing into Manhood

My late father Eugene Victor Etler wrote this unpublished poem over 70 years ago during the height of the southern lynching spree. He would read it to my brother and me while we grew up during the 1950s. It is the most devastating indictment of white supremacist racism I’ve ever encountered and helped mold my thinking forever after. With all the recent publicity surrounding vigilantism and "stand your ground" profiling, I feel it is important to share this powerful statement with a wider audience than my immediate family.

Although we don't physically lynch as in the past, we continue to do so in other ways, either by "legal" shoot first ask later laws or socio-culturally, spiritually and psychologically, making this poem as relevant today as when first written.

On Growing Into Manhood
-- Eugene V. Etler

He was only thirteen and he hadn't seen nothin’.
His was a world of fancies, a world of pleasures.
A world that consisted of kids his age and the
language of their problems. He lived in a small
town and the prejudices of such a town became un-
consciously his own. One day with his father, in
the center of town, he found himself in the middle
of a swirling, excited, angry mob. Here a boy of
thirteen discovered himself a man amongst men.

What is it, paw
What's goin' to happen
Is it goin' to be a parade, huh paw?

I'm so excited
It reminds me of the time
We all went to the fair
And saw the chickens and cows
And ate popcorn and dogs
And we all then rode
On the merry-go-round,
That was fun wasn't it, paw?

What's goin' to happen, paw
Somethin' excitin', paw?
Everybody here seemin' so angry and excited
At somethin', paw
And they're all standin' as if waitin'
What are they waitin' for, paw?

What are they shoutin' for, paw
And why are they angry, paw?
And some are carryin' clubs
And look at Ben Johnson, paw,
He's carryin' a rope
And all those others 'round him
Askin' him questions
And pattin' him on the back
What is Ben aimin' to do, paw?

I'm hungry, paw
Can't you get somethin' for me to eat, paw?
There's a fella sellin' somethin'
He's sellin' somethin' in a basket, paw
And there's another and another
So many, paw, all seemin' to be sellin'
And people all buyin'
And everyone seemin' excited
As if somethin's goin' to happen
Can't you tell me what, paw?

And look, paw, down the street
The crowds all seemin' to be runnin'
All seemin' to be comein' up here
To the center of the street.
And they're seemin' to be holdin' someone in the middle.

I see, paw! I see! I see!

It's a nigger they got in the middle
And they're seemin' to be tearin' at his clothes
And kickin' him all over his body
And look, paw, somebody's hittin' him right in the balls.

And he's bendin' all over
And tremblin' all over
And his eyes are so wide
That all I can see
Is the whites of his eyes.
And his mouth is wide open
And his tongue stickin' out
And his face that should look black
Almost looks white.

The God damn nigger!
The God damn nigger!
I know what they're goin' to do
They're goin' to hang him
They're goin' to lynch him
That God damn nigger is goin' to be lynched
That yellow belly nigger is goin' to be lynched.
What are they lynchin' him for, paw
Because he's a nigger, paw?

This is the first lynchin' I ever seen, paw.
Look, they're coming closer
Look at that nigger, paw!

You god damn nigger
You God damn son-ov-a-bitch-ov-a nigger
Lynchin' is too damn good for you, you nigger!

They're stoppin' right by us, paw
And there's Ben
Comin' right up to that nigger, paw
He's right by that nigger
And he's spittin' straight in his face
And he's cuffin' him with his fist
That a boy, Ben
Kill the God damn bitch, Ben!
And now he's puttin' a rope
A rope around his neck
And the crowd is tearin'
Off his clothes
Until he's naked
And his stinkin' black body
Can be seen by us all.

Now they got him by a pole
And they're throwin' the rope up
And now it's comin' down
And Ben and the others are pullin' so hard
That finally the nigger's feet is off the ground
And he's goin' up higher and higher and higher ------

Look at the way his body is all twistin' around
And his legs jumpin' up and down
Ain't it all funny to beat hell
And look at Ben and the others
They all got lighted torches
And they're pokin' that God damn nigger
All over his body
With those lighted torches
And that nigger don't scream or nothin'
He's just jumpin' up and down
Like a crazy jack-in-the-box.

Christ, won't he ever stop?
Can't you kill a nigger, paw?
It seems most an hour
That they strung him up
But damn it to hell
He's still tossin' around.

Look, paw, he's quiet now
He just seems to be swayin'
His black body swayin'
Like the clothes on maw's line swayin'
To the tune of a breeze comin' into the yard.

God, what a stink
What a stink that nigger gives
I fell sort of sick all over, paw
And I'm afraid I'm gonna throw-up
If we don't the hell get out of here.
I've seen enough lynchin', paw
The God damn nigger's dead
So let's be gettin' home, paw.

What they lynch him for, paw?
You think he had a white girl?
But it don't matter, huh, paw
He's a nigger and it don't matter.
Who do you think it was, paw?
Massie Green?
Say, she had every ---------

But it ain't no nigger's place, huh paw?
All right for a white man
But not a nigger, huh paw?

Aw, don't get sore, paw
It's all right the way I'm talkin'
I'm a man now, paw.
A white man in a white man's world
And there ain't no God damn place for niggers.